Tonight I had one of the best moments of my life, and it was such a simple one. I was in the middle of the bedtime routine with A. and I had read him a couple of stories. I tipped him back in my arms and continued rocking him, his face looking up at mine. I very softly told him (in French) the story of me learning that I was pregnant, how his daddy and I waited so long for him to arrive, and then how I fell in love with him instantly. Then I told him about what I hoped for him in the future, and what I promise to him as his mother. I rocked and talked for about 30 minutes.
Realizing that he had spent the entire time calmly looking into my eyes, listening, sleepy but engaged, I was overwhelmed with love. I took note of his size, thinking about the story I just told about how small he had been. He still fits in my lap, and my open palm can cover the length of his little pudgy elbow and forearm as he rests in the crook of my elbow. I know this will not be so forever, and as a wriggly toddler I don’t get these quiet and still moments with him very often.
As his sweet eyes began to get heavy, I laid him down in his crib, and for the first time in a few months, he didn’t cry at all when I laid him down and walked out of the room. The stars aligned tonight, and I will never forget our moment.
Bonne nuit, mon petit lapin. Fais de beaux rêves! (Goodnight my little rabbit. Sweet dreams)